Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
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The beer is more important than you right now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i think i just lost a toe
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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