Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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