Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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