Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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