allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
