Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I yelled at your uterus for you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
