I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
