yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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