i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
