I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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