You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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