Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
