STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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