And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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