I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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