you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
