whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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