well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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