he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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