i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
