belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
