dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
