hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
