I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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