We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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