I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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