We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
