You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
