i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
