i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
