There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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