yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
