I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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