Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
