the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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