didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
