Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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