dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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