we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize