My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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