Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
