Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
