i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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