Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You took a bar mat shot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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