sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
