i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
