So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
