well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
