Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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