while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize