I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My penis needs a shock collar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
