I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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