You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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