I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
