Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
