whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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