I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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