I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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