If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
