Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
