MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
